As many others have shared, today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I'm encouraged that people are talking about mental health concerns more openly. But depression can be a long and lonely road.
As a person of faith, I wish that the church would get with the program. They are still reluctant to talk about mental health issues. They could do so much good, but instead, act like depression is caused by a lack of faith. How sad. And how contrary to the heart of God.
I struggle with depression and anxiety. It has been a lifelong battle. I've tried everything. Medication, therapy, supplements, meditation, gratitude, prayer, etc. Nothing has "fixed" me. Anti-depressants give me horrible side effects, so I've decided that therapy is the best option for me. You may have better luck with medication than I have. It's definitely worth trying.
Having the right therapist is an invaluable resource. I have had a few bad ones, but I have a wonderful, caring one now. Sometimes just having someone present is helpful. They can't "fix" you, but they can give you coping skills and help you learn new relational patterns. It takes time. As painful as that is, it's part of the process. Trust takes time, and it should.
I am currently dealing with long term unemployment. I don't have health insurance. And now we are living in COVID World 2020. I'd like to tell you "it gets better", but the truth is...sometimes it doesn't. Not for a while. It's still worth sticking around.
I have to believe that. I have to believe that the moments of joy, love, and creativity are worth dealing with the pain. I have to believe that the possibilities and beauty found in life are worth living for. If I don't...well...that leads down a very dark road.
Even if it feels like life isn't worth it right now, stay. We need you. We need your special gifts and talents. I promise that you have them. You may never know who you impact in this life. I have had people reach out and tell me that I helped or inspired them in some way. That makes life worth living. We need each other.
For what it's worth, I care and I understand at least some of what you are going through. I'm sorry about those who don't. I'm sorry about the ones who marginalize you or tell you that you aren't strong enough, don't have enough faith, or whatever other bull you have heard. You matter, and you have a purpose. It may not feel like it, but you do.
You deserve to be heard. You deserve to receive care.
You can call the suicide lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
They have a chat option too.
They will talk to you and help you find resources.
If you feel alone and at the end of yourself, please reach out. Don't continue down that long road alone.